Women have been sharing their thoughts on how long they believe sex should last, and the answers are more mixed than many people might expect.
According to Healthline, vaginal sex usually lasts between three and seven minutes, based on findings from a 2005 study that looked at real-world experiences.
While that length may sound short to some, the same research found that sex lasting one to two minutes was often considered too brief. On the other end, sessions lasting between 10 and 30 minutes were often viewed as too long.
Instead, sex therapists involved in the research suggested that seven to 13 minutes was the most desirable range. That still leaves one big question, though: what do women personally feel is ideal?
An article published by GQ explored how long people tend to have sex and how they feel about the time they spend in bed.
The outlet spoke to a small group of women and non-binary people about their experiences. Most said they preferred around five to 10 minutes of penetrative sex, paired with a longer amount of time focused on foreplay.
One woman said her ideal balance included 10 to 15 minutes of foreplay followed by about 10 minutes of sex.
She told GQ: “I find I get rather impatient in bed, or perhaps I just haven’t met someone worth taking more time.”
Another participant shared a similar view, saying: “I feel like this sounds short, but honestly five to 10 mins plus like 15-ish minutes of foreplay.”
A third person added: “I generally like sex to last 15 to 20 minutes, with intercourse being like maybe a quarter of that.”
There were differences across responses, though. Some said their ideal experience lasted closer to an hour when foreplay was included, while others felt their preferences were shorter than they should be.
When it comes to how often people have sex, opinions and experiences also vary widely. Things like stress levels, busy schedules, and lack of sleep can all influence frequency.
Sex therapist Charlene Douglas also shared her professional perspective on what contributes to a healthy sexual relationship and how often couples typically have sex.
Douglas said: “So oftentimes, I’ll go to a bar and people will find out that I’m a sex therapist and they’ll say to me, ‘How many times should you really be having sex like in a week?'”
“And they’re all waiting for my answer. Everyone leans in waiting for me to give that number to work out whether they’re in the normal range or not.”
She noted that, statistically, once a week is the average for many couples. This lines up with findings from the Natsal-3 survey, which showed that people in long-term relationships tend to have sex about once a week.
That said, every relationship is different. What feels normal or satisfying for one couple may look completely different for another, depending on personal needs and circumstances.